Final Apology ~ For One Shot Wednesday

This weeks One Shot for me, is straight from the heart, and therefore, really no form will fit what I am hoping to convey.  This year,  my part of the world, has brought us news of THREE (we are a very small province) teen suicides, that have been blamed on bullying, especially through social networking.  I have very strong opinions on this, but the overwhelming sadness and heavy heart sums up one thing.  We are failing our children! Parents, teachers, coaches...if we can not instill in these children that life is worth living, the fight is worth fighting, what does this hold for our future? I have seen, first hand, just how mean and hateful these kids can be! What do we have to do to teach them the consequences of such cruelty? How can we teach them to love and care for each other.  What do we need to do?  My heart cries...imagine the hearts of the friends and family who have lost so much? Please, dear world, embrace the virtues we once held so dearly. Be the beings we are capable of, ones that know compassion, love, empathy, sympathy, acceptance, tolerance and the freedom to show these attributes without fear of condemnation.  Be the example for your children, be the example for their friends!

Final Apology

I never expected to feel this way...worthless

A stain on the world...though I'm not old enough to know the world.

A class of seventeen rose against me, the only world I know

And shamed, I could not carry the burden.

My history of fifteen years deserves no chance to be rewritten,

So letting go, I prepare for what waits beyond.

They tell me nothing...but nothing is better than this.

They've already convinced me that nothing is all I am, ever was and will be.

Have you ever felt your heart collapse into your stomach?

I felt it, and it grows heavier each day.

Who was I supposed to talk to?

Mom and Dad? All the worries they already carry? I wouldn't dare!

My teacher? I took her advice and held my chin high, I held on

But it was her hands that let go and slipped away.

At least they allowed me to leave early each day

So I could bare my back to the enemy

Allowing them to add coward to their list of pet names for me.

All I needed was a reason,

A light to guide me, a hand to hold

I know the sun always breaks through, but some storms are longer than others

No one could tell me how long I had to wait.

I looked for proof that it would get better

I swear to god, I did...

But my search was time wasted.

I have tasted the evil on the hearts of men

Disguised in brand names, gadgets, and lunch room titles

A uniform that I could never hope to afford,

A lover who only laughed at our union

A notch on a century's old bedpost

The ultimate betrayal would be my undoing.

If our souls have the freedom to fly beyond this world,

Then I spread my wings willingly

And if not, if it all just stops...

Then I will know once and for all that wishes really do come true.

I am sorry I wasn't strong enough.

I am sorry if I hurt you.

I am sorry

I am nothing.

Natasha Head

Stop on by Onestop Poetry today and check out the talent of some very amazing writers.  I count myself very honored to even be allowed to post to their site, and have learned so much since finding them. Any support you can give is appreciated, and nothing feels better to a poet than knowing your work has touched a heart.  Let them know how they touch yours by sharing your thoughts on what they so bravely present each and every week.