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Pondering the French Ballade at Form For All

I have to say, Gay (@beachanny) has presented us a formidable challenge at Form For All this week.  For one who does so love to rhyme, I found the exercise incredibly difficult, and with time running out, I am offering up one of my many attempts.  Don't be too harsh...I am, after all still learning! Drop into dVerse and try your hand. You'll be a better poet for it!

Pondering

Upon this silken bed I lie
A shell of who I used to be
Thoughts of heaven and hell reside
Waging battle inside of me
What must it mean? Be truly free
No earthly body anchored here?
Face the light with dignity
or will I turn away in fear?

Just where do we go when we die
Detached from this reality?
Are we doomed to burn? Blessed to fly?
Or do we just stop being "me"?
Does anyone have eyes to see
Beyond the veil, beyond the fear
To see into eternity
What will happen when we leave here?

Death breath rattles, I'm set to fly
Illness steals a last bite of me
Above you now I see you cry
But we knew this would have to be.
In some other reality
With hindsight shining bright and clear
You will always remember me
As though I'm standing with you here

And as you dream, remember me
know there's nothing that I fear
I am soul's angel flying free
But for you I'm always here.
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Comments

The Silver Fox said…
"Still learning." I think not, except in terms of saying that none of us ever know everything. You certainly hid your "difficulty" well, to say the very least.
January 27, 2012 at 5:20 PM
Pat Hatt said…
Yeah could not tell
If it was giving you hell
For it came off grand
Here in Tashtoo land
January 27, 2012 at 5:46 PM
Anonymous said…
A wonderful write for the form, it really sings Tash! Your subject is engaging, the rhymes smooth, and it comes across as effortless, bravo.
January 27, 2012 at 6:05 PM
Unknown said…
Good! Very interesting form--way beyond me.
January 27, 2012 at 8:06 PM
Stuart McPherson said…
Dammit! This is too good! Really enjoyed it and it touches on that simplest of questions that we all ask of ourselves from time to time. I noticed that you didn't stick strictlybtonthe eight syllables per stanza. I think this is a good thing as it allows that degree of flexibility. This is something I think I should have done with mine! Good work as ever!
January 27, 2012 at 8:10 PM
Brian Miller said…
sweet...love your close tash....its def got a nice intimacy to it....now death breath on the other hand...didnt your mom ever tell you to brush your teeth and wear clean underwear just in case something happens...haha...you did really well...you took on the beast too...this one was not easy...way to go poet!
January 27, 2012 at 9:28 PM
Teresa said…
This is beautiful! You've done an excellent job. I agree it was extremely difficult.
January 27, 2012 at 10:01 PM
Bodhirose said…
I love this...and the subject you chose was used beautifully..really enjoyed the tenderness. I found this one challenging too...but, hey, I gave it my best shot!
January 28, 2012 at 1:14 AM
Beachanny said…
I wouldn't criticize the liberties you took. A poet must make each poem his own. As I said on another comment, in the early 20th century this form became a form for light or satirical verse; but in the last decade or so poets have returned to it with gravitas. This is certainly a smoothly written poem on that subject that haunts every thinking person every day - posing the eternal question, "What happens (if anything) after death?" You did it here very well. Certainly I didn't get this far along with my own. My idea is very ambitious and after reading all of yours, I may have to abandon it for something else. I say, Good for you, dear Tash - you took the form, made it your own, and said something deep and worthwhile. That is, after all, what poetry should do!
January 28, 2012 at 12:49 PM
Anonymous said…
"Or do we just stop being "me"?" ... Well good golly, that happened years ago. Does that mean I'm already dead? :)

I gave the ballade a try, but I quit before I finished the first stanza. It was not headed anywhere worthy of sharing.
January 28, 2012 at 2:55 PM
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