Was it Worth It ~ A Nightmare Verse

Saturday afternoon sun warps the horizon.
Liquid, casting it's orange glow
setting the house on fire.

It is vacant, dilapidated
Would be condemned if there were neighbors
Close enough to care.

I am alone when night falls
and I hear the rumble of the engine
before I see the truck cresting the hill.

Isolation, dead cell phone
and a 1% selling commission...
I'm crazy...but service sells.

His name is Harley...I remember as though it really happened
I still can't look at men named Harley.
For fear he really exists.

Harley has friends
They are big, they are dirty
and their motives are no better.

Toothless smiles greet me
I can smell whiskey
See the gun in the brackets on the back window

The stairs of the warping front veranda scream their resistance as we approach
There is no key, there is no lock
Just hot breath on my neck

But I am not in control of my body
Harley is
and the basement is no place I want to visit.

The team of three soon finish with me
I think of yellow kitchens and card parties
I think of childhood

And I see myself...just a girl
I see the gun
I hear the gun.

Wasted, bruised, battered, bloodied
Pain enough to raise me
as the last I see

Is a seven year old me
with smoking gun
over the now dead three.

I've been told my sleeping world of nightmares is a direct reflection of the horror movies I watch. Never quite bought that, as I've suffered from nightmares well before I was old enough to watch the movies. One thing always leads to another, so I have journals where I have recorded such dream in hopes of interpretation...but there are those that require no dream dictionary.

The awesomeness that is Stuart McPherson is prompting Poetics today over at dVersePoets.   I've been lurking on others to get a hint and since I'll be out showing houses when the prompt goes live, I took my best guess and shared this. Hope I'm on point...and hope the buyer I'm meeting isn't named Harley. ;)

Comments

Brian Miller said…
ugh...shivers...i am glad you took the power back in the end..but what helplessness too at the hands of the men...turns my stomach...some commissions are not worth it...and justice is served in the smoke...
Anonymous said…
There is no key, there is no lock
... sent chills to my core Tash, sorry you went through this even in a dream, it gave me that intense desire to wake up. Fortunately as an adult I can wake myself from nightmares or redirect the action.
Tash- this is brutal. I absolutely love it. Maybe somewhere in here there's a metaphor for work, for having to work to survive- yet in your case- I know you'll get your revenge and like the little girl end up vengeful and triumphant. The imagery and darkness in this was almost overpowering! I also know what you mean about people saying that nightmares area product of too many horror films (being an avid horror film fan myself)- but nightmares exist anyway- that's real life. And to think you just spilled this out- toooo good. You NAILED this prompt.
Mary said…
You really gave this nightmare teeth. I smell the whskey and feel that hot breath! At least in this nightmare you got your revenge.
Laurie Kolp said…
You brought this vivid nightmare to life... intense and chilling!
Scarlet said…
Indeed a nightmare...and the last lines of the child holding a gun over the bodies made my hair stand up ~
Janine Bollée said…
Pity his surname wasn't Davidson. But then it would have been a dream, rather than a nightmare.
I wonder if writing this down will drive the cause of this from your mind for good.
Daydreamertoo said…
Yes, it is the stuff of nightmares for sure. Thank goodness it is too!
Edward said…
Relentless, the chilling pursuit of a shadow world, where our dreams are a spark-fiction bleeding fire into our cups to stay thirsty on the journey towards dawn,one step beyond our fears...thank you for sharing this...and with the traipse rhythm of breathing slow to fast to slow again too...
hedgewitch said…
I think that 'the movies put it there' is crap, too, Natasha. I think our brains find their fears in everything and build them up into these terrifying dream storms--this was riveting, I could feel myself there, and you did what I always do in my dreams, fight back--sometimes how hard I fight and how far I;m willing to go is more scary than the nightmare itself. Fine writing, girl.
velvetinapurrs said…
Scary, very scary..big men urgh...loved the ending scene..go girl, the 7 year old you, even in your dreams or nightmares..very cool
Unknown said…
Now I won't be able to sleep tonight. Tash, not a big horror fan as far as Film goes, but the way you put it out there, the creepiness and eeriness that are nightmares just seem so cool. Great job. Thanks
Ed Pilolla said…
you really build a sense of anticipation. the burning house image, the creeper and his friends, what your senses tell you is happening, which is a terrific way to make a moment pop. this tears toward a dark conclusion. i liked it a lot.
Anonymous said…
This sounds so real, a bit close to home for me. Great job
Semaphore said…
Brutal and nightmarish. And horrors like this do happen in real life - and that is perhaps the greatest horror.
Anonymous said…
Scary - I felt the breath and smelt the whiskey breath - compelling, horrible - this is just so vivid
Maude Lynn said…
This is really scary!
Wow! Great write. So real and frightening. Made me say a bad word! Way to go!
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/03/31/blood-on-the-moon-3/
Anonymous said…
I adore this line: "Liquid, casting it's orange glow"

rosemarymint.wordpress.com
James Rainsford said…
This is so brilliantly imagined it's hard not to feel its brutal reality.
Hope this has only been informed by your fertile imagination and not some past experience.
Manicddaily said…
Yes, your details are all so telling. Well done. K.
Unknown said…
What a terrible nightmare. This would definitely disturb me for weeks. I can barely watch rape scenes in movies, so I can't imagine watching one in a dream like this. The experience of it must have been horrible, unimaginable for me. This is very brave of you to share such horror with us. I think that sharing dreams is a way of building human community, even the terrible ones that haunt us. Sharing a dream is a statement of trust. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Wolfsrosebud said…
interesting how this starts to innocent and turns to such a nightmare... perhaps, that's how they all start
Anonymous said…
Loved the writing - deeply disturbed by the story you tell, which is the way it should be. This is closer to real life than you might know. Some years ago in England and estate agent called Suzy Lamplugh went to meet a client ... and never returned. Stay safe in your work Tash.
Claudia said…
heck..one of the biggest nightmares one can think of...glad about the closure though...the re-gaining of power and control...the victory in this...the still standing...gave me the chills tash..
Dawn Pisturino said…
What a deliciously dark poem!
Bodhirose said…
Frightening...on so many levels.
Ginny Brannan said…
Reading your postscript about suffering from such nightmares really makes one wonder if there really is such thing as reincarnation, or at least being truly sensitive to tortured souls and afterlife.
This was a nightmare on so many levels,cannot imagine the kind of evil men that would torture a child such, yet you hear these stories so frequently. At least there came an end to the torture itself in this. Excellent piece in a really dark way, Natasha.
Luke Prater said…
very dark... well-played, poet
Beachanny said…
Every job has its nightmares; but I've been to Meat Cove and I know that territory. I would wake to thinking about applying for a different position. Very chilling. A tribute to your courage that you triumphed in the end.
Wow! Powerfully nightmarish!
Anonymous said…
It's the details that make this chilly narrative work for me, Tash: yellow and card parties. Just right.
Completely chilling, vivid, visceral and intense. Same terror quotient as the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" but with a more empowering ending. Whew! I'm still skeeved out by this, EXCELLENT!

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