Magic Lays Me Down ~ #poetry by @Tashtoo

The path hides well among brambles dense
but you gently take my hand to guide me
on moonlit night with only stars to see
a universe revealed to me, smokey fire and incense
a wide open spirit must know no fence
if it is to drink of divinity

Root of ancient pine
bed of needles, sacred ground
magic lays me down

magic lays me down

You whispered wisdom, secrets, and sacred prayers
spoke all that you claim I have always known
that I was always free and never owned
In your magic understanding was brought near
released this heart from self-imprisonment and fear

The stream ran beside
gently shaping rocks and time
bending all my realms

magic lays me down

How wise dear Mage, my excuses spent
forsaken in your name
Behind the veil in goddess arms
Unite in sacred flame
In heated embers we shall fall
purified and burning
magic lays me down this night
my spirit, finally learning.

Sam (AKA @Semaphore) is treating us to Free Verse at FormForAll today...but it's not what you think! Head on over to dVerse to see what we're up to and maybe even work your own magic!


Comments

Wow! You certainly worked some magic in this one. Nice flow and sound and I love the layers of meaning.
Laurie Kolp said…
I like the repitition of magic lays me down... a really great piece!
Wow! Really magickal, erotic and transcendent! Whoosh!
Glenn Buttkus said…
Nat, I realize we poetic types are supposed to memorize the challenging forms after we try them for FFA & MTB, but I am too lazy and busy to do so; just love the work, and move on to the next thing without the burden of knowledge. Your poem writhes while it hums, sings while it singes, the stanzas emerge, a,b,b,a,a,b & a, b,b,b. &a, b, b, c, c. and then it sails off into the realm of pure vers libre; really dug it.
Glenn Buttkus said…
For the academicians amongst us, Sam's challenge provides double pleasure as they are able to ferret out the hidden poetic forms. I just ride the words like a hungry cowpoke, bareback, lots of air under my ass.
Anonymous said…
An incantation of deepest thanks, a great gift conferred gracefully acknowledged
Hot Rod Pics said…
Mood-alteringly magical! I'm going to take, er, uh, read, again!
Brian Miller said…
nice...this has a very lyrical feel at points...esp around the repetition...and that is a key line the magic laying you down...like the veiled intimacy in this as well...smiles.
Very nice, Tash. Has a song like quality--almost a melody--to it.
henry clemmons said…
You are always getting on me to sing. Well you should sing this. Such a song. Such a write. Very nice!!!!!!!!1

I also wish you would have read my Nova Scotia poem :) Blue House.
Anonymous said…
This poem is like a song! Seriously, could have been one, with the repetition of the same line...
I especially loved the line "bending all my realms"... first read it as "dreams". Somehow not so different though...
Bodhirose said…
I too thought of a song while reading this. It's just beautiful..I love it..spiritual and tender.
S.E.Ingraham said…
Well, I'd say you followed the prompt correctly bending the form and disguising multiple types of actual form within this clever vers libre ... and as the others are saying, "magic lays me down" is music ...

http://nsaynne.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/when-you-are-leaving-me/
Anonymous said…
It is magic to feel free and not owned, that was the best line this week for me.
Beachanny said…
Alliteration, rhythm, rhyme, imagination form and flow. This has it all. Evocative write, and it definitely sings!
Anonymous said…
Oh, this is one of my favorites of yours: certainly magical, absolutely beautiful, lyrically marvelous.
Wonderful to share your ramble through the bramble with a guiding hand.
And so thoroughly free from every restraint.
Anonymous said…
Great job:)
Mystic_Mom said…
What a magical trip this was...love it!
Unknown said…
Great job Tash. I had no idea what to do with this prompt to be quite honest, I read the very good writeup, but still was stumped. You made it look easy, such a good job. i love the haiku and the dialogue, and a proverb type play as well. Great read. Thanks
Semaphore said…
This one is one of my favourites of yours, it has an incantatory feel to it, like a spell being woven. I feel your voice to be more emotionally potent with these types of poems, more so than political and social commentary, although I know those are your mainstays as well.

And, as a free-verse-poem-that's-not, this is excellent, blending the musicality and rhyme of various forms into an organic whole. Wonderful!
Anonymous said…
I aspire! Your ink is magical!
Ben Ditty said…
This is stunning, poet.

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