Battle Royal

Ticket pulled from the spinning ball of confusion
Validated in name only
while common every day demons
stalk the path of footsteps I have left
in digital sand.

Get in the ring
step to the mat
if you're gonna do this to me
we're gonna do it like that
no low blows
above the belt please
at the end of this
you'll be the one on your knees

Why must it all be stripped away
simply because your eyes refuse to see
this was never, ever about you
it's always been about me.

Lost and lonely
my rabbit ears without signal
just the constant static
of what you need, what you want
I supported every hobby
every trend
in dollars and heart
and you were content to leave me be
alone in the dark

Why do YOU cower
when I enter the light
It is my eye's that have been unseeing
buried under the wool
of your dreams.

We did that
every one
lost the farm
the crops
the sustenance
but we did it
all in
with nothing but nightmares
left to show for it.

The gloves are on me for a change
fighting simply
because what I do
does not include you
the invitation was sent
and the RSVP came back

declined.

YOUR choice.


All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself. ~Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"

It's Brian Miller up for OpenLinkNight over at dVerse today.  See you at 3EST!

Comments

Anonymous said…
Brilliant of course! I like the boxing ring metaphor, and that close... wow, you were invited by the RSVP came back declined. So sassy, love it Tash xx
Brian Miller said…
hard tash....trying to invite them in...and making it about them and bending to their whims but in the end you are left alone...and then have to fight your way out....and in ther end...it is their choice...
Hot Rod Pics said…
This is what I love most about your writing--you are fearless in striking at the core of human existence. This is a powerful piece, well done, Poet.
Claudia said…
..that i'm nobody than myself...think we sometimes go a long way until we really find ourselves and then we still see like in an unclear mirror...bits and pieces..but more and more..another strong poem tash
Kick ass good, Ms Tash! It's a fast life - no time to be anyone but yourself! And I love that person!
Unknown said…
Pow! Right in the kisser :) this gets to the heart of the relationship and fast! Strong and bare knuckled.
Orange UaPoet said…
eye's typo should be eyes
you are in a rockin' groove now...that which makes you write.

to paraphrase Robert Frost, fight in the poet, fight in the reader...knock it out, Tash, knock it out.
mrs mediocrity said…
the gloves are on me for a change...
yes, sometimes, that's just the way it has to be... we take so much and then we stand up and fight FIGHT for what we know is right.
i love how your poems always make me say "you GO girl!"
Maude Lynn said…
You are speaking for a lot of women here, Tash. Powerful write!
~Lady Day said…
Wonderful work..a woman of power piece...through the scrapes of life. Perfection.
I love the musicality of this piece. Its end-rhymes are cleverly placed. It reads like a champion boxer who knows exactly what he/she is doing. A wonderful piece, Natasha.
jackie dick said…
We are many-splendored things seen through a rainbowed prism..methinks..changing forever, and so hard to pinpoint, fighting withoutselves for identity, meaning. A powerful piece, Tash, and written with courage and skill. I like!
jackie dick said…
We are many-splendored things seen through a rainbowed prism..methinks..changing forever, and so hard to pinpoint, fighting withoutselves for identity, meaning. A powerful piece, Tash, and written with courage and skill. I like!
Linda Kruschke said…
Very interesting. I had to reread the poem after reading the quote afterwards. This is definitely not a one-read type of poem - really makes you think. My favorite stanza is:

Why do YOU cower
when I enter the light
It is my eye's that have been unseeing
buried under the wool
of your dreams.

Peace, Linda
Helena White said…
"The gloves are on me for a change" Many woman can to this. ~ You are woman, hear you roar! You tell it like it is.
marousia said…
Stunning poem - there is no time other than to just be yourself - keep being you
ayala said…
Powerful write..so good when we find our voice. well done!
hedgewitch said…
Sometimes one gets so tired of foghting--but then, you have to live with losing and that's even worse--keep fighting, dear Tash. This poem is a knock out. (And hope you feel better soon from the tumble--those things shake us up more than you'd think.)
Daydreamertoo said…
Yes, yes, yes, and yes. We must be as we wish to be and not as others would have us. (That's been my own personal saying since I can remember) If we try to be anything to please anyone else, it never works in the end, we either end up losing our own identity or, they get fed up with us anyway.
Glad you finally saw the light and realised it is all about you and finding you, not about people pleasing at all.
Nice one Tash!
In the end we are all alone, ultimately, aren't we? One thing that always grabs me about your works is the way you make it about me, because you made it about you. The personal nature of you work leave me lots of places to fill in the blanks, and I seem to fill them in with bits of me, so I heartily relate to your work.
Evelyn said…
"Lost and lonely
my rabbit ears without signal"
no shit, huh?
this is a brilliant concept.
Anonymous said…
Those closing lines are something special.
You and gloves are a force to be reckoned with my dear. You are powerful beyond measure and loveable too! Strong poem!
S.M. Abeles said…
Lost and lonely
my rabbit ears without signal
just the constant static
of what you need ...

This is why I always enjoy my visits to the Tashtoo Parlor :)

--SMA
rosemary mint said…
Dang girl, your first two stanzas are super hot, tight, and strong. Nice work.
sharonlee said…
Very potent... the discovery of self can be very enlightening.
Unknown said…
Super cool Tash. Wicked rhythm and pace here.
Anonymous said…
Reading this, I can't help but picture a radio fed boxing ring amusement park where the poet steps into the light and rightfully claims what is hers. There's a sense of anthemic music here, too, which crescendos at the end in triumphant juxtaposition against the almost solitary sadness of your sparsely worded rejection. Powerful as always, and I want you write all my fight songs, too!
Steve King said…
Before you know it, the poem's over and the reader is wanting more. Forceful, great pace and energy in addition to the fine message. Nice work!
Beth Winter said…
Oh, do I know this. I also have my gloves and am ready to face the ignorant egos that try to define me even though I am already defined.

Excellent
Beth Winter said…
Oh, do I know this. I also have my gloves and am ready to face the ignorant egos that try to define me even though I am already defined.

Excellent
Tarun Mazumdar said…
I enjoyed my read and I can see that you are ready to fight even if you will not win... you know you will be undefeated...

http://chaigaramchai.blogspot.in/2012/06/burial-of-his-dead-heart.html
Still trying to catch my breath. Ouch!
Laura said…
Powerful writing, say it like you see it.
Beachanny said…
A compelling write, Tash and an honest one. The words drive the message and the message is relatively new for us women. Only 100 years old and that in only part of the world. We have to learn to say ,"no". We have to not care about whether people "like" us, because at last we have learned (as all people must) that the harder one tries, the more one is despised and deprecated. One has to stand upright, steadfast, and dedicated to one's own vision. It is the most difficult personal challenge and you called it here!
t said…
100% Awe. Some!
Dawn Pisturino said…
I like your style, Tash!
Unknown said…
The battle ends with the letting go of all but self, lovely write my sister! ~ Rose
DQPoetry said…
Now that was a personal and emotioned filled Tash! Amazing how poetry can really open you up to other people.

In regards to the subject I've half learnt this lesson a few times. Was great to take a break after my last relationship and really think through that idea of who am I? What is important for me? What do I want out of life?

Thanks for that and hope you're well
Unknown said…
Thoroughly enjoyed tis write, felt as though it flowed from my pen. Scribed with intent and purpose... message delivered
Lady Nyo said…
This is a very compelling poem/story. I felt it in my gut,not only in my head..and when a poet can make that connection to a reader...well, 'connection' is what it is all about.

Life is a continuing process of discovery...and mainly about ourselves. I have only learned this recently, at the ripe age of 64. Yikes....I am a slowwwwww learner.

Lady Nyo
Becky Sain said…
Love this Tash... absolutely, whole-heartedly, love this.
Words i need to speak but never had the courage to write... so thank you for writing my heart out on this page.
vivinfrance said…
The poem flows, the metaphor works, but this is the saddest poem I have read in a long time. I hope the issues are now happily resolved.

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