To the Boy Who Believed in Fairy Tales


...for Jay

Conversations stolen
In the cracks of light, just before dawn
When the world is content to slumber
And no one hears our secrets.

Top of the world
Close to the dying light
Of the stars you know shine for you
Whispers no stronger
Than the rustle of the tiny leaves
Of the canopy of choke cherry trees

The others rest now
Long lost to the residue
Of drunken ambitions
And smoke fueled fantasy
The promise of tomorrow
So much more special
When you watch her sun rise.

This is how I will remember you.
Not stolen by the real world
Not beaten by the dreams never achieved
Not so very broken
You fail to see your worth.

I will pray you’ve not had to hide your heart
I will pray that maybe, somewhere
Along life’s road
You found laughter
Peppered with love
I know how desperately your heart needed it
For your survival.

So many years in between
So much we will never know
Nor understand
But I will remember
The boy who believed in fairy tales
And pray your next chapter
Is magical.

~NH

I received news yesterday of a dear friend who had taken his own life.  We had grown apart over the years, resorting to the odd facebook message, but no matter the distance, the memories will always be with me. Those are how I will choose to remember him.

Sharing this on our OpenLinkNight anniversary, makes it that much more special, knowing these words will be read and I am hoping, felt.

Happy Anniversary dVersePoets....each and every one of you, and to Brian and Claudia, who were willing to take the leap and open the pub doors to us. Looking forward to what the new year with dVerse has in store.

Comments

Brian Miller said…
hugs tash...stings...i am sorry for the loss of your friend...the world will surely chew you up and spit you out...i am glad you remember him of the good times...i hope as well for his next chapter...
This is a lovely, heartfelt tribute. It is so hard to see those you put themselves so far beyond our grasp. May he find peace where he is now and may your find peace as well. A moving, quietly powerful write.
Brian Miller said…
just wanted to say thankyou as well tash...you are an integral part of what makes the pub successful...i know it is not always easy, but your energy, you poetry, your tweets, hosting...all of that....makes a difference...
Anonymous said…
A poignant poem with much in it. Condolences on the loss of your friend.
Claudia said…
oh dang...brought tears to my eyes..sorry for the loss of your friend tash..and hope he found a bit of what you're wishing him.. and then yeah...singing along with bri in the song of praise..thanks tash for all that you do at dverse..you're awesome and you have some fire rocket energy..smiles
mrs mediocrity said…
Oh my, tears in my eyes.... I have been in this place, a friend who was almost a brother, a friend who truly saw the world through fairy tale eyes.

Hugs to you. And my he find his peace at last.
Evelyn said…
So sorry for your loss...
love the title and how it is incorporated into the poem...
Anonymous said…
What a stunningly beautiful and heartful tribute Tash .... hugs to you
Frank Watson said…
Beautiful tribute to your friend. I could feel its power even before I read the background.
Linda Kruschke said…
Tash, This is beautiful. I love the line about laughter peppered with love. I believe that is something every heart needs. It is sad that many struggle to find it and never succeed. Peace, Linda
Shawn said…
Sad and beautiful. I found myself holding my breath toward the end...and now I know why.
ayala said…
So sorry for your loss. A heartfelt tribute, just beautiful. So hard..sending you hugs.
Unknown said…
amazing write Tash... I hope your friend found the peace he couldn't find here..
Anonymous said…
Oh Tash, this is so beautiful and brought tears. I am deeply sorry for your loss. Thank you for all you do at dVerse to create this supportive and magical community.
This is a powerful poem Tash! Thank you so much for sharing .. both this poem and in the Pub!
Unknown said…
This is so beautiful and yet so sad ...thank you for sharing this ...Thank you also for all your dedication to dverse and happy anniversary x x x
Anonymous said…
very sad, a wonderful tribute
Anonymous said…
Oh Tash. I was touched by this before I read your note, and once I got the story behind it, well I had a big old lump in my throat. People can only be held in memory if we continue to pay tribute and I think you did a beautiful thing for your friend here. I've been carried away by the every day for a week or two, we all get caught up in life and lose touch with people and things that meant so much don't we? I hope you are okay, and that writing this has helped ease your loss a little. You ate a gift to all of us, and I am privileged to have been able to share this and many of your talent filled works of art through dVerse xx
Anonymous said…
So so sad....felt this one deep to my core. Suicide is unexplainable - and sadly touches too many of our lives. This was truly heartfelt, and a wonderful tribute - even though people die, they never disappear - not from our hearts or heads anyway.

On an aside, and seeing as this is the dVerse 1st anniversary- I wanted to personally thank you for giving me the confidence and reassurance to write, and to share. If it hadn't been for you- I might not have persevered- but now I couldn't ever be without it. Thank you Tash.
Laurie Kolp said…
I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Tash... this is such a beautiful piece, brings me to tears thinking about when my friend took her own life. WHY?

Anyway, I appreciate you and all you do for dVerse and poets everywhere!!
Wolfsrosebud said…
beautiful tribute... peppered with much love
Grace said…
I am sorry to hear the loss of your friend dear ~ Thanks for sharing your memories with us ~

Also, thank you for being part of D'verse ~
Anonymous said…
So sorry for your loss, and thank you for a wonderful poem.
jackie dick said…
So sorry for your loss, Tash...This is a poignant heartfelt tribute to your friend...I hope he has found peace and some magic as well. Thank you for sharing.
Ravenblack said…
Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem, it's a beautiful prayer and send off.
Semaphore said…
I could feel the melancholy behind this poem - and then your story of your friend just broke through. Your poetry is at its best when the emotional intensity is high... and this is one of those times.
Hands down a fabulous poem, Natasha. Your writing is getting stronger and stronger, deeper and deeper. The fourth stanza is incredible. Personally, your poetry continues to speak to me. Outstanding!
Beachanny said…
So definite that my heart was broken long before I got to the end of the poem. I felt someone going before, and one way or another we all know someone lost who once believed in fairy tales. Evocative and meaningful verse, Tash.
Kathleen said…
a loving tribute to your friend - thank you for sharing his story - and so sorry for your loss.
Beth Winter said…
I have sat spellbound and experienced every word and at the end, I cried for him, for those who love him and for the beauty of a friend who has the gift to honor his life with such beauty.
Victoria said…
Such a deep sadness in this. The tragedy of suicide leaves every so profoundly affected. I am so sorry for him and for all of you who have loved him.
Chris Lawrence said…
Tash this is a fitting tribute there is an honesty in the heart guided words that cannot help but touch, so with a tremble i read and your strength shimmered
vivinfrance said…
First time round, I read this as a mother looking down on her sleeping child, right up to the last section. The explanation made it even more poignant, a meaningful outpouring of grief.
Wander said…
All I can do


This is a time
Of loneliness
And sorrow
We had dreams
Of yesterday's tomorrow
But today was sad Instead
Left with lingering Memories
Of the bond between you and me
In this tomorrow's yesterday
All I can do is cry and pray
And hope you found peace
In your end
Good bye to you
Signed with love
Your friend


Chris McQueeney 7/17/12 10:59 P.M.

I hope this is appropriate, thank you for sharing with us your grief...

Wander
Wander said…
just want to follow this feed...
Anonymous said…
the sadness is so well tempered with reverence for the good times that are so key in remembrance

only good thoughts

RD said…
the sadness is so well tempered with reverence for the good times that are so key in remembrance

only good thoughts

DQPoetry said…
Very definitely felt Natasha, RIP Jay.

Thankfully you have good memories.

I have a lost a few friends, so my thoughts are with you

Well written
DQPoetry said…
To echo Brian As well, Thanks so much for welcoming me into this haven for poets!
poetjanstie said…
How can one comment on a poem so deeply felt and personal, except to say there are more is will fully understand the impact of such an ending than there should be. Poet love, onwards and upwards, Tash.
marousia said…
Hugs and thank you
K McGee said…
Losing a friend is horribly sad, losing on in this way makes the pain string just a little worse. Your poem however brought dignity to the subject and honored the life with great compassion.
Anonymous said…
Oh sad. Good poem. Thanks. k.
Anonymous said…
there really is a resounding sadness to this piece.

Whispers no stronger
Than the rustle of the tiny leaves
Of the canopy of choke cherry trees

You've done a fine job here, Tash, and I'm glad to have read about your friend.
Uneven Stephen said…
I'm sorry for your loss, Natasha. May your friend find peace, wherever he may rest. It is wonderful you are able to focus on the goodness here.
Uneven Stephen said…
And also, thank you so much for your integral contribution to dVerse. It is a fantastic community.
Anonymous said…
Sorry to here about your lost of a friend. it's always sad when that happens. This was a moving tribute.
Anonymous said…
emotional piece. i'm sorry for your loss
Bubba said…
A beautiful tribute, Natasha.
adan said…
choosing to remember by the best of memories -

wonderful way, one i'm glad i've chosen the few times i felt i need to

esp, very esp, liked,

"I will pray you’ve not had to hide your heart
I will pray that maybe, somewhere
Along life’s road
You found laughter
Peppered with love
I know how desperately your heart needed it
For your survival."

thanks so much tash, you've made your loss a gain for all of us
Matt Spence said…
What a gorgeous and heartfelt tribute to a friend- I am uber glad you shared this because you choose to remember him in love and share that love with all of us. I especially enjoyed:

"Along life’s road
You found laughter
Peppered with love"

Please also realize you have my sympathy and condolences- a cousin of mine last year took his own life and when you lose someone by their own hand it makes it all the more hard to deal with- or at least it did for me. Peace & Love.
The Linnet said…
Utterly heartfelt and moving poem. Loved this very much.
Vinay Leo R. said…
A beautiful, heartfelt dedication, Tash. Your words bring him, and his beautiful vision to life, and I pray he finds the peace in the world beyond. A very moving poem.

Thank you, for OLN so many times over the last year. It has been a pleasure reading you and others. Happy anniversary to d'Verse.
sheila said…
wow, I hadn't even read this one before I commented on the piece you wrote today. Oddly enough, in my comment I mentioned the losses I have experienced this year due to suicides (3 people close to my heart - two family members and a childhood friend.) It is a hard thing to endure. Prayers for you and their loved ones.

I have written so many poems about suicide I could compile a whole chapbook about it (which I may eventually do) My most recent one was written last week here http://shewriting.wordpress.com/2012/07/16/dog-days-of-summer/

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