Acceptance ~ #OpenLinkNight @dVersePoets

What makes you think I care not for your suffering?
Have these tears that collide with every dose of wisdom you've bestowed upon me not been enough?
The fact I remain here, draining myself of my very sense of worth, should validate my scars...
you know well it's not what I want to do.

So it is I who suffers to scrape out these words, torn from the very fabric of my being.
Every syllable, ripped through flesh and bone to shine here for you...
in an effort to perhaps prove what little worth remains

We speak of a sense of purpose
while picnicking on a riverbank on a quilt stitched by a woman we've both forgotten
and you talk to me of goals and ambition...
using poetic metaphors in an attempt to blindside my senses
but you have tried too hard for too long
and I know where your motives lie.

Forgive me that I do not crave the same.
I know how much easier your life was when I was willing to pretend I shared your dream.
I know I leave you now, here on this sundrenched afternoon
wondering where you went wrong.
It's my own fault you ever thought you were right. I let you believe it
having not the courage to admit I had been living a life not my own.

You deserve your dreams.
Never doubt that.
As I too, deserve mine.
Please stop trying to change me
I know myself too well now to willingly allow you to smother me
and the fight will only get worse.

They say pick your battles wisely
I say
why does it have to be a battle at all?



It's OpenLinkNight once again at dVersePoets...and I get to host the party. I've enjoyed my poetry slow-down over the past couple of weeks but know if I let it go any longer, the dues I'll have to pay to find my way back could prove fatal! Here's to the words...

Comments

Anonymous said…
No dues to be paid with me, I'd always be here, eyes wide and ready to read you Tash! Really liked this, the sentiment is clear and I applaud you for choosing to stay loyal to your sense of self in spite of pressures.
The Silver Fox said…
We both know that the poet is not always the speaker, but if the speaker is indeed you this time, I hope you and the subject can come to terms. It seems like a sad misunderstanding goes on here. Just my two cents' worth. And never doubt your own self-worth, Natasha.
There is a wonderful silent resolution to all the craziness of the brain when everything is falling apart. Once is it gone, and the fate is accepted, there is relative peace and calm. Great poem.
Mary said…
A strong poem, written with intensity. Feels real to me; and yes, I hope that reconciliation can be reached & that both can keep their dreams. Without dreams, life would lack so much.
Anonymous said…
agree to disagree, in an empty kind of way, yet, still resolute.
Unknown said…
Very strong, love the passion and intensity in here and a killer line/question to leave the poem on. Awesome read. Thanks
Anonymous said…
i adore the sincerity and, like many have said here, the emotive intensity of your poetry~
Claudia said…
We speak of a sense of purpose
while picnicking on a riverbank on a quilt stitched by a woman we've both forgotten...great image...and lots of strong emotions here as well..so hope that things can be sorted out..
Maude Lynn said…
This is really powerful. I felt it.
Susan said…
fabric--quilt--smother:

How much easier it is to love them from a distance! So it was with my dear grandmother, who never allowed me to answer a question about me without finishing my answer with her own story! And how I adored and tried to live up to her!


"I know how much easier your life was when I was willing to pretend I shared your dream.
I know I leave you now, here on this sundrenched afternoon
wondering where you went wrong.
It's my own fault you ever thought you were right"

Not your fault, no: Who is the older and wiser? Which of you finally understood and borrowed the motives of her own guilt maker and made them her own?
Anonymous said…
I'm feeling the end of a somewhat unhealthy relationship... How powerful these words:

Every syllable, ripped through flesh and bone to shine here for you...

Self acceptance is the only acceptance.... Well done....!
Chris Lawrence said…
always here for you and i enjoyed the feel and intensity of this
Timoteo said…
There is nothing like the power of one who can stand up and tell it straight...mincing no words...and oh, what a catharsis, eh, Tash?
chani said…
i like this! very nice!
Scarlet said…
A tough situation but let each one have their dreams, I agree. Strong voice here Tash ~ Sorry about your grandma ~
Bodhirose said…
I love this declaration of freedom from a relationship that apparently has lasted too long already... I know this story intimately.
The Linnet said…
A powerful poem filled with sadness and yet a sense of hope and closure. A decision made, a parting of ways, a goodbye. It is hard to be left, but it can be even harder to be the one to stand up and leave for the right reasons, however painful.
I know not if this poem is deeply personal or an exploration into the painful place some of us have been. It is powerful regardless :)
Beth Winter said…
Letting go is so difficult but rewards come through the pain. Wonderful work.
Letting go of someone's dream and returning to your own dream--there is a quiet strength in this for me-
Brian Miller said…
ugh...real hard and strong emotions in this tash....hard to reconcile when they only want you to give up your dreams...you should both have the opportunity and in a perfect world that could happen....hugs as well tash....
Manicddaily said…
People like battles! Terrible but true. Good luck, take care, k.
Anonymous said…
Great thoughts on independence.
Anonymous said…
Firstly- I have missed you!!! Secondly- I have missed your words. This piece is- well...WOW....it's a bucketload of emotion....there's a line here I can't get out of my mind- a blanket stitched by a woman we both forgot about?- I can't help this is central tote theme of a wrangling relationship- and one persons fight to find themselves again and gather strength...the beauty of this- is that in its style ,bform, and content- its like a bucket if bad blood has been poured straight from the soul....and that takes some f**kin guts....welcome back...you destroyed with this poem
Anonymous said…
So sorry for bad spelling, grammar- stupid iPad/stupid autocorrect
Anonymous said…
I feel ... Vi would approve ...
Susan Daniels said…
Tash--this is so strong, and you are so right--should not have to be a battle at all.
Unknown said…
the 2nd last stanza spun the write, for me, into full speed...
libithina said…
tere's a lot of strength evident here Tash, with some resolution after much deep searching and reflection - seems a point has been reached, replete with answers and knowing - warm hugs Tash - ty for sharing your open heart - x
Martyn Kerr said…
Every syllable, ripped through flesh and bone to shine here for you...
I love this line. Such a powerful expression, as is the rest of this piece.
Wander said…
I am not qualified at this point and time to comment directly on your poem...too many feelers out in a situation like what you wrote...so I will say good poem, and thank you for hosting.

Wander
Victoria said…
This is a moment of searing truth, Tash. I felt courage, anger and the recognition of those moment when change was no longer an option. I've been there and I daresay, most people have, although in very different ways. Wow.
Karen Maeby said…
That's why the soul must carry an invisible shield for that battle that shall never have to be fought. The mask that's hidden behind the feelings and truth. //

Love this line: using poetic metaphors in an attempt to blindside my senses

Anonymous said…
True why should there be a battle at all. Thanks for hosting this evening.
Wolfsrosebud said…
I too enjoyed the last line... endings are so tough, but perhaps the glass is half full instead of empty
Archna Sharma said…
There is a great sense of courage and balance in acknowledging that one deserves their dreams. High praise to you for keeping your poise and comfort in your own identity. And I agree, it does not have to be a battle.

Thanks for hosting this evening, wish you well.
Laurie Kolp said…
I agree! This is very powerful. I especially like:

We speak of a sense of purpose
while picnicking on a riverbank on a quilt stitched by a woman we've both forgotten
Ginny Brannan said…
A really intense stand on what the speaker feels. Powerful stuff. Great writing! I liked it a lot, Natasha.
Arron Shilling said…

we do wage war on inertia though . . . those days that creep
and whisper "dont write today, whats left to say?" and then we go . . . BOOM! take that you lazy ass whisper - cant you see we're working here . . . as always Tash

WITH passion - - - YES!!! :D

thank you sister
S.E.Ingraham said…
nice - especially that last - why does it have to be a battle at all? Indeed ... again, it's good to have you back

http://seingrahamsays.wordpress.com/2012/08/21/every-now-and-again/
Hot dang! What I love about this piece Natasha is the long stich/lines. You are masterful in making them work. They do not weaken before the reader gets to the end of each stich. Reminds me of Walt Whitman, but modern is its language and composition. Bravo!
Sreeja said…
Felt so touched by these words...at some point we all give up our dreams for others, just to find that it really hurts deep......the question at the end is so true.....Nice!
Semaphore said…
There's always such a passion and an intensity in your words, which is evident in whatever you set your mind to do, whether in advocacy or in poetry.
Anonymous said…
i like this concept a lot -> draining myself of my very sense of worth,

ocuchchch -> not fair

using poetic metaphors in an attempt to blindside my senses

also not fair ->

willing to pretend I shared your dream.
Jackie Dick said…
A powerful piece here, Tash..that speaks to me of growth, painful and wrenching..the third stanza resonates with me, particularly. A memorable poem!
the ending is perfection!

brilliant!

A power struggle is well embodied in this poem. When we are close to others we sometimes can be terrified that we will lose our own identity, our own boundaries, and we have been taught that the individual is everything. Actually, the basic social unit is two. And personally I was never strong enough to be alone, although I lived that way for 15 years at midlife. Hope the subject of this poem finds her way to a relationship that does not subtract, but adds, to the possibilities of her life. No relationship is ever perfect, but we CAN love and help one another, and there is nothing better!
adan said…
beautiful dance around knowing both people are right, but not necessarily together...powerful yet evenly expressed, thank you!

"They say pick your battles wisely
I say
why does it have to be a battle at all?"
Anonymous said…
What a punch at the end. Why indeed?
I especially love the line about the "quilt stitched by a woman we've both forgotten."
James Rainsford said…
Brilliantly perceptive and obviously heart-felt. I loved the details which made this poem live.
Bubba said…
Some things are no battle at all, even though some people try to make them one. Nice piece, Natasha!
Glenn Buttkus said…
powerful and gut-wrenching as we all remember 1 or 2 times it happened to us; liked the line /I had been living in a life not my own/.
It's the folly or hubris of parenting (or any close relationship) when we think we can tell another what her dreams should be. My daughter told me when she was three after an argument we had that I could think my thoughts and she could think her thoughts. What wisdom!
mrs mediocrity said…
oh my, i could have written this to my first husband, word for word...

it's so hard when people change at different rates, or in different directions, neither one right or wrong, just different. you expressed this perfectly, here.

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