Maturity...by Definition...Aborted

I remember so well the day I vowed to never conform
a hotel room in Altemonte Springs
not quite far enough from the citrus scent
to convince me I was home.

It was MTV for a teenager who didn't even have cable
It was floral bedspreads
that made Welcome to the Jungle so fitting
It was a man in black with a top hat
and the fact I didn't want to do Disney World.

Thirty years later
and I can still smell the oranges
tasting the realization
It really is up to me
but
despite my rebel yell
I have not mastered free

So the leash is the leader
Freak that I am
a wanna-be rocket queen
Grown-ups think me obscene
as I resist all their sordid ploys

Money can't buy me
Juries can't try me
for the only life it has impacted
has been my own.

Assisted suicide
for the adult that has died
aborted before
their chains could take hold.

It's my best guess for what Stu McPherson is bringing to dVerse today for Poetics.  I can't miss another one and with a busy day of parties and real world socializing ahead...I took a shot. Stu...hope I came close! Trust I'll be raising more than a virtual glass for all you Poets...and should be back to the pub long before I turn into a pumpkin.


Comments

Brian Miller said…
haha some wicked good lines in this...you non conformist...smiles..Grown-ups think me obscene...i might be in that boat at times...ha those last two stanzas are so frickin strong....love this tash....you rock!
Semaphore said…
Natasha, a wonderful thing is to see your evolution from the earlier poems in "Nothing to Lose" to the newer poems on your blog. You can see the development, the stronger voice, the maturation of themes that have always been there but are now offered up with more confidence and craftsmanship. And yes, there is craftsmanship even in free verse - in the enjambments, the word choice, the consonance and dissonance of sounds. Wonderful voice.
Anonymous said…
Wow, I loved this, the hotel room hook up, the rebellion and the smells you added just gave this so much punch. Your poems always get me in the gut in a good way, and reading this straight after Metamorphosis was really interesting to see your journey evolving through your words. :)
Claudia said…
dang...what a tight closure tash... good not to conform to the grown up world totally...and sometimes it needs drastic methods to not lose our dreams and ideas of how life should be and feel and taste..
Laurie Kolp said…
I grew up without cable, too, and can so easily relate to the hotel room MTV thing. I was a bit rebellious in my day, too.
Mary said…
Non-conformity is powerful.

Love the lines:

Money can't buy me
Juries can't try me

Such strong wording AND perspective!
Anonymous said…
i'm putting G'n'R on RIGHT NOW. You know, I totally get the feelings created in this powerful piece. Its sometimes easy to 'not conform' as a teenager- because that's what people expect...but then when we get older...people expect us to grow out of it.. but to NOT conform, to truly be your own person takes some strength...it makes going to work harder, it makes some social interactions harder...but if the world wasn't full of people like this...people like YOU...well...we'd be fucked...awesome poem and penned straight from the heart...you can tell
Anonymous said…
There's so much freedom in non-conformity, although some people manage to use their non-conformity to make a new straitjacket. Stay free Tash - you deserve it

Tony
Dana Dampier said…
I relate to alot of these lines... I love too many of them to have a favorite!
Jessica said…
"Money can't buy me
Juries can't try me"

That sounds like rebillion to me. I love it. Good work!
Maude Lynn said…
This is wicked! The last stanza is killer.
Anonymous said…
i like the concept of the leash being the leader. makes me think that the person holding the leash, holding the power doesn't matter, it's just he power itself.

and ditto Claudia on the closure!! very cool.
I love these sections:

"not quite far enough from the citrus scent
to convince me I was home"

"despite my rebel yell
I have not mastered free"

"So the leash is the leader
Freak that I am
a wanna-be rocket queen
Grown-ups think me obscene"
Anonymous said…
I like the defiance in this. The defiance of a teenager and then the defiance of an adult refusing the accepted boundaries of what an adult is "supposed" to be.
sharonlee said…
Powerful thoughts... love the word use in this.
Orange UaPoet said…
Fist in the air...you brought back many of the cultural icons of a generation wanting and trying to rebel in a post Viet Nam War world.
Glad to see you're out there wanting more more more out of a life fully lived as much as possible on your own terms.
Anonymous said…
The leash is the leader - wonderful line! And others. k.
Glenn Buttkus said…
Good for you--never let loose of that inner child, or that sexy pout, those folded arms, that 1000 yard stare, for it is the rebel within that keeps us sharp, embracing alacrity. I used to use a rebel yell at football games in HS, until I went hoarse. Like the line
/despite my rebel yell, I have not mastered me/.
Dave King said…
Wow, this threw the pot at the judge, just as he was closing. Mighty effective!
Unknown said…
Some great lines here it is really cool seeing everyones different takes on the subject matter
Unknown said…
very nice Tash. Love the variety in imagery and how they connect, for me, the music injected here, really is the thread connecting everything. Too neat, great read. thanks
Anonymous said…
Love the pace and the message!

Thirty years later
and I can still smell the oranges
tasting the realization
It really is up to me
but
despite my rebel yell
I have not mastered free

Damn can I identify! Fantastic poem!
Chris Lawrence said…
Welcome to your jungle, yet it is no disordered jungle it is tight and natural and speaks loudly love it
Raivenne said…
Grown ups - ha! I'm still renaming it in my terms, because even now I feel I will lose too much of what makes me, me in order to comply with the standard definitions.

I found my head nodding as I read this. And oh, those last two stanzas...I know this, so strongly, so well. Love this!



The Silver Fox said…
Now this left a very good taste in my mouth...

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