Little One Done


She seems so very small as I watch her make her way toward those intimidating swinging doors.  She’s taller than me now, and would very much resent the way my inner clock can deny the years that have passed.

Eyes bright as fire
Always wise beyond her years
She knows no fear

I am in awe of her strength, her air of confidence. She has confessed to the front, but no one else needs to know. I reflect upon my own days, the feeling of insecurity, never being good enough. I want so much more for her.

She’s running home now
Barbie lunch box banging her side
Backpack…bigger than she is

Who knew that day, when I watched her from my window, climbing those mighty steps for her first bus ride, that my life would never be the same? The world, so much scarier than it was for me…now her burden to bear. Bullies, young and old. Expectations, good and bad.

No longer under my wing only
She is free to see the world
Through the eyes of another
Other than her mother

As she grows to adult, I grow to human. Once the hero, my flaws have been revealed. Over time, so shall more. Will our relationship change? Will she judge me as critically as those who loved before?  When does guardian turn to friend?  When does protector turn to accomplice? Will her dreams of exploring the world with me change?

It was a mommy and me day
Until her phone rang
Friends are more important

My heart breaks a little bit, and tries to be strong. Never mind the lump in my throat nor the tear in my eye. It’s nothing personal. I pick up, I drop off, and head to my mother’s with coffee.

Her hug is as firm as it always was
Her solace the balm for the sting
Her reassurance I will always be the mom
Validated in the concern in her eyes.

The night has fallen. My little one, out and about, after dark…with boys.  I watch the doors swing wide, as her and her posse make their way to my car, still wearing their 3D glasses. Their laughter encroaches upon the silence.

She is all smiles as she takes her place beside me
Her cheeks are flushed, her eyes electric
“Thanks Mom…that was awesome!”

So are you kiddo…so are you.

Anna Montgomery (@Chromatopia_LLC) is up for her dVersePoets debut today at MeetingTheBar. She's going to have us talking prose, poetry...and I'm guessing we'll be able to show her one heck of a welcome! See you at the pub!

Comments

Hot Rod Pics said…
A simply adorable composition, I love this.
Claudia said…
awwww....big smile...i so can feel this..my daughters are 18 and 21 now...and it's so great to see them grow up and develop... we have such a good relationship, cook and laugh together and play and discuss and philosophize about life...something so precious...
Unknown said…
Oh, you've hit on such universal, resonant themes here. I so wanted to have children, especially a daughter, so I admit it has taken me longer to comment than it should have (had to wait for the tears to clear). Okay, to the poetry. I knew your skills as a prose writer would shine through and each bit of narrative is so grounding. In a way I visualized the prose as the loving structure of your parenting and the poetry as the blooming creative nature of her development. Just beautiful, thank you.
Susan Daniels said…
Oh, this is just perfect....
Anonymous said…
Now you have me balling
Anonymous said…
beautiful piece you have hear... I look forward to such an experience in time :) ... a painful and yet beautiful one
Oh, how I loved this tender of motherhood. Although I raised only sons, I think every mother can relate. The weaving of prose and poetry seems entirely natural, seamless.
*tender tale* I attempted to say
"As she grows to adult, I grow to human."

This insight was truly profound.
Brian Miller said…
considering my oldest turned 10 today...double digits...how did that happen...i feel so old...smiles....and he is getting tall and oy....our relationships will change in the coming years...and no longer the hero they will see the man and what is it i want them to see then...anyway poet you got my head spinning...smiles.
Anonymous said…
that my friend is very powerful. Beautiful just beautiful

I'm getting schooled tonight. This was great. I love the structure. You nailed this one.
Unknown said…
This was the sweetest thing .
Sue Judd said…
Nice write, very tender.
Jenny Herner said…
Teary eyed at this! Beautiful!
Mary said…
Ah, this is beautiful, so human, so real, so sensitive. It so hard to see our daughter's grow up, but yet so wonderful as well. It would be nice though if time would stop...just for a while...wouldn't it?
Sheila said…
this is soooo good! I feel the same way about my daughter, although she is a few years younger than yours, I believe. The part about how your flaws have been revealed to her really hit home with me. this is really great. Thanks, Natasha.
Anonymous said…
Oh gosh this is how I felt the day my daughter left home to start her life... I was a mess and gosh that third stanza hit home for me... I am teary now but because this is so beautiful and true.
Janie Junebug said…
Beautifully done. You captured the feeling perfectly and put it in words, just as a poet should do.

Love,
Janie
Dana Dampier said…
I get it. I do. I watch as my little boy goes from needing me... to talking about girls, almost overnight. I can't believe how fast they grow.
Unknown said…
Natasha~
As the mother of three adult children, I fell under the spell woven here. The loving, releasing, experiencing, enjoying... you touch gently on so many of the gifts of connectedness.
Sonika Uppal said…
awww...

were you writing about me and my two brats ??

i have two girls 10 and 6...:))

what a gorgeous wonderful write ...
Anonymous said…
ah, no fair making grown me tear up...our greatest conflict as parents - the pride of watching them grow up while never wanting them to. My youngest two are 13 and 10...babies, children, no more.
Maude Lynn said…
Oh, I feel every word of this! Marvelous, Tash!
Beachanny said…
Honest, appealing, and insightful. Taking your sentiments and emotions to a higher level, putting them under the microscope and pulling it all into focus. A precise picture of a mother's undying love. Well done!
mrs mediocrity said…
This is so very beautiful and tender... and encompasses being a mother in its entirety.

And this: "As she grows to adult, I grow to human." A fabulous truth.
Kathy Reed said…
..multiply this by infinity and you have what it feels like to be a grandmother of a little miniature of your daughter.. ;) btw, the words for this feeling are found in a September post on my blog if you care to hop over....
Anonymous said…
this one made me cry... in a good way. so beautiful and touching.
thank you for sharing
Susie Clevenger said…
They grow so fast...my girls are 38 and 34. I remember the days when we were friends and then the teenage years where we were in conflict and now we share almost everything as adult women....
it's sooooo hard to let go! my daughter just turned 41! and i am so grateful for our relationship. my granddaughter is 14 going on 30 and so set on being independent that it actually frightens me. i hope she and my daughter can have as close a relationship as ours someday.

really lovely writing!

Sabio Lantz said…
Wow, very fun.
To look into mother-daughter stuff two-layers thick was rich -- made me think about my daughter and wonder.
Sherry Blue Sky said…
I TOTALLY relate to every line of this. The bittersweet pride of watching your child grow......away from you. Yet they always return, happiness in their eyes and their "thanks, Mom, that was awesome." Beautifully penned, kiddo.

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