The Sun Came Out Today

The sun came out today.

It almost fooled me into thinking I can do this.

Strength in his rays,

But still...

The heat never reached me.

It is cold here.

So biting, you are frozen before you realize it.

Damaging skin...

Your tears freeze so fast

You can never wipe them away.

I peel them off my cheeks carefully

Roll them between my gloved hands

Playing with the light

Silver, reflecting

Ignoring the pieces of myself that pull apart

I let them fall through my fingers

Soundless into the banks of snow

That have come to block my view.

I try to crush them with booted feet

As though there is a solid end

But there is no end to this

And my feet only sink into the cold.

Inside now,

Looking out...

I can lie and tell you it's beautiful.

I can make believe 

I am strong enough

I can write a poem

Pretending its not about you.

The sun came out today,

But winter did not sleep.

NH

2014