All Piled Up ~ #poetry by @Tashtoo

I have never revealed my truth to anyone.
I've lied, I've sinned,
I've played dress-up and lived persona's that never fit
all in an effort to keep them from finding out.

To this day, no one knows my story
though many will have no trouble thinking they can tell you
I laugh, and let them have their say
My walls are strong

There is strength in knowing
only I know.
It means no matter how nasty they get
No matter how low-blow, knee to the groin dirty
they want to play
they've got nothing if they're not starting with fact.

We show so many faces
run so many stories
but when was the last time you spent a moment with your truth.
Not the bullshit they sell you
through self-help books and motivational speeches
(Yup...got that down too)
but the bullshit that is you?

That festering, stinking pile where you've buried every dream you know you'll never realize.
That manure heap where the stench keeps them from digging too deep.
Putting distance between them and the bleeding heart they want you to believe they understand.
They don't have a fucking clue.
None of them do.

Today's face will be a happy one.
It almost always is.
They are always so much easier to fool
when I'm smiling.

And when the sun goes down,
I'll grab my shovel
and pray the walls that house my pile
won't burst.

There will be time to build new walls
tomorrow.

Firing up the pen for OpenLinkNight with dVersePoets. Doors open at 3pmEST.


Comments

Brian Miller saidā€¦
but the bullshit that is you? oy that was a great punch tash....dang...hot off the press with this one...

i wonder though if no one really knows you how that feels though...

it does keep you in the power in that if they cant start with truth there is no foundation...great point that...

it feels so lonely, always having to build those walls....
Becky Sain saidā€¦
This was truly amazing Tash, Wow. I absolutely love this.
The Silver Fox saidā€¦
Loved this. 'Nuff said.
Karen from Mentor saidā€¦
no one ever "knows" what's behind someone else's eyes.

be who you are, as hard as you can.

Claudia saidā€¦
sometimes we feel so naked that we need to build walls to protect us..i so know what you're talking about... only that walls always have two faces.. tight and emotional write tash..
emmett wheatfall saidā€¦
Wow!! What a powerful prose poem. You weave your themes and inherent meanings beautifully, Natasha. I'm always blown away by how you take the reader here and there, all the while maintain an air of subtle privacy and pronouncement. Love this piece.
Anonymous saidā€¦
Impressive and honest poem!
mrs mediocrity saidā€¦
do we ever really know anyone else in the deep dark bullshit-filled place? even ourselves? sometimes, in the middle of the night, just before dawn, yes.

this is powerful and filled with intrigue. now i have to go look for my shovel... :)
Obi saidā€¦
Not the bullshit they sell you
through self-help books and motivational speeches
(Yup...got that down too)
but the bullshit that is you?

Excellent point raised here. A lot of times people will tell themselves something so much that they think that's their reality, (I read this an I agree with it, so it's true for me) but it's really affected and artificial...what we would like to believe but not what's actually the case. But if even the "genuine" person is still bullshit then all the self-importance is for naught. Damned if you do damned if you don't. Not exactly an encouraging conclusion, but I appreciate it for it's accuracy which paradoxically enough, makes it genuine :)
Truedessa saidā€¦
Power write with some powerful punches.."No one really knows you" how can anyone really know us..
aka_andrea saidā€¦
but when was the last time you spent a moment with your truth.
Not the bullshit they sell you
through self-help books and motivational speeches

LOVE THIS!
Anonymous saidā€¦
Raw and powerful! No bullshit.
Anonymous saidā€¦
I managed to go 8 rounds until you landed the knockout blow, not bad under that barrage if you ask me.
Raw, powerful whirlwind of self loathing immersed in the BS of life and self.
Mike Sutcliffe saidā€¦
Wow ~ so many hidden truths ~ from oneself.

How many of us hide from ourselves?

Great, thought provoking write.
Anonymous saidā€¦
A coomplex life you describe. And truth is such an expanse of perspectives what might seem to be one way, one day, is bullshit on another day from another way. It's tough in this world no doubt. And tough to deal with this truth as we continue to grow and age and mature and see things, old truths differently in and from dif lights. I really liked this. I should have read it later in the evening, but I will talk of it later, no doubt. Excellente.
Anonymous saidā€¦
Lovely effort.... I totally liked it
marousia saidā€¦
So lonely ... love what you do in the rhythm in this piece
Laura saidā€¦
I think most of us feel this way to a certain extent... we might let some people in, but no one can completely penetrate or most inner sanctum... sometimes even we can't figure out who we really are... I think that's a lifetime process.. plus we are always changing, growing.
Ellecee saidā€¦
Another powerful poem, hard hitting and gutsy,,and truth there as well. No one really knows us like we know ourselves,,,and sometimes that's a good thing,,
Unknown saidā€¦
"But the bullshit that is you" - holy moly - stop the presses - N, please promise you will never ever never never ever ever ever ever stop writing. Damn
Anonymous saidā€¦
Yes, as much as we like to show off the roses in the garden, it's for the individual to know what manure got them there.
Kathy Reed saidā€¦
I want to respond to what Claudia said about walls having two faces; she is right and it's so good to write about these things as you so perfectly did.
Anonymous saidā€¦
Oh, I don't know...we always seem to find time to build those walls, often it is our greatest priority
Anonymous saidā€¦
Loved it completely. Powerful piece.
Ginny Brannan saidā€¦
Wow, loved this "no holes barred" piece! The truth may set "us" free, but for everyone else, keep 'em guessing! Great piece of writing Natasha, well penned!
Anonymous saidā€¦
Oh, boy, Tash...this is a brave one!But look kiddo...those walls can hold it...love it!
Wolfsrosebud saidā€¦
the underlining pain you've captured well in your poem
Beth Winter saidā€¦
Sad but true. We hold our truths close. I think it is okay as long as we know our truths ourselves.
hyperCRYPTICal saidā€¦
Powerful honest write.

I think we all build our walls - perhaps not daily - however strong and in control we feel.

There are aspects of me I don't like (safely hidden behind walls) and I hope nobody catches a glimpse...perhaps they do and perhaps I don't know the me other people see and perhaps I don't know me at all - just think I do...

Anna :o]

The Linnet saidā€¦
So lonely, such pain... Yet I love how the rhythm carries you along as you read this.

I am more for demolishing the walls before they fall in on me, but that was a lesson I had to live to believe.
joanna saidā€¦
i feel ya on this one.... i know those walls. powerful write.
Glenn Buttkus saidā€¦
Sometimes your poetry just brings me to emotional apexes. This one brought me to my knees. When I was an actor I reveled in the process of unearthing the several versions of me, to let them breathe, move around in my body. Now, mostly we do this with our writing, specifically our poetry, as we mine & dredge the murky darkness within. Love your bravery, your honesty, your imagination, and cherish the petals, the shards your shed for us.
Anonymous saidā€¦
This is hard read, Tash. You're certainly not pulling any punches here. One thought that came to my mind is that we build our walls to hide who we think we are form everyone else - but we don't know the truth about ourselves, so we put all that effort into protecting a lie. It seems so sad to me ... but I do it too.
scotthastiepoet saidā€¦
Back with you a bit late this week... For all the darkness and angst voiced here Tash, all I get is your own special light just bursting to come through -paradoxical in terms of creative achievement. Subconscious perhaps? Or maybe not.... Best for you Scott x

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