In Passing ~ #poetry by @Tashtoo



In Passing

Who knew that death could smell so sweet
Displayed on asphalt, August heat
No rose could hide that sickening scent
No carnation could prevent

This air that rises, a petal’s rot
Where maggots crawl through flowerpots
And soil rises up to feed
Bringing beetles and centipedes

Life force spilled against the grey
A crimson stain on life’s highway
Where machines bring hammers down
Divine plans at once turned round.

Invaded by the mind’s design
The end of breath, a lost bloodline
Taken down at peak of life
The mind of man cuts like a knife

And upon the rot in blackened eyes
The cutting scythe will claim its prize
A vessel of souls called back too soon
Dissolving now in death’s cocoon

Back to the Earth she has been called
Though now on asphalt she lies sprawled
Upon the dust of histories
Wrapped round life’s dark mysteries.

Who knew that death could smell so sweet
The loss of life, upon soul’s retreat
And trigger thoughts of awful things
This is the stuff that death does bring.



Comments

Pat Hatt said…
hahaha oh you know I'll never be one
To ruin your rhyming and rhythm fun
As I do it all the friggin time
Never fear you didn't commit a crime
So nope I won't hold it against you
As everyone should write how they want, so true
Although I see you turned the light off once more
As you took this tour
Going a bit to your dark side
I'll take your word for it on the smelling sweet stride
Always enjoy these writes
Even the death flights
And now this has gotten long
The face it facts are no matter what you choose you can do no wrong.
Brian Miller said…
oh i like your rhythm and rhyme...nicely done there...some great lines as well...the road kill feel is a nice touch and makes for some nice imagery... whats up with you and claudia and the death theme this week...trying to creep me out? smiles.
Claudia said…
i like this a lot tash...wondering what inspired you to write this... my inspiration came from a book i started to read "the chemistry of death" - excellent book but after the second murder i was just too sensitive to continue reading...then i read the last pages and saw my fav. character would get killed and then i thought well...let's write a poem...smiles
my fav stanza in your fine poem is..
Life force spilled against the grey
A crimson stain on life’s highway
Where machines bring hammers down
Divine plans at once turned round
Louise said…
A difficult subject wonderfully done. It takes a poet, doesn't it? Your rhythm and rhyme are superb..but still I shiver ~ smiles :) P.S thanks so much for your wonderful comments. They mean loads to me! :)
Tashtoo said…
Ha!Claudia, my inspiration is not nearly as poetic. I had a lovely treat left for me in my drive...a good Samaritan left me a poor dead cat. At least that's the tale I'm telling myself. Must have assumed it belonged to my house. We live on a very busy road, and I don't take to such things so well...yes, I cried me a river for days after...and finally wrote this.
James Rainsford said…
"Who knew that death could smell so sweet"
What an arresting first line Natasha. It hooked me instantly and drew me into the heart of this skilfully rhymed and intensely evocative poem. Some truly inspirational imagery here. Hugs, James.
kelvin s.m. said…
..you said that this is where you fell in love first and i must agree.. without a doubt you weaved this right with much ease at the same time retaining the power within each line.. and though melancholic to read i find myself falling in love with your starting note and the many keen imagery.. the repetition of the first line in the last verse works so noble for this piece. A well inspired write, i should say!

~Kelvin
Anonymous said…
I luv ur rhyming and you hold a very bright candle. I wrote along similar lines, at least in the same zip code. Very well done.
Blue ribbon: And upon the rot in blackened eyes
The cutting scythe will claim its prize
A vessel of souls called back too soon
Dissolving now in death’s cocoon
Great stuff. See u tonight:)
Anonymous said…
A great piece on a tragedy. Love how touched upon the everyday life contining despite what happened.
ayala said…
A great piece..."who knew that death could smell so sweet..." some amazing lines!
Mindy said…
I like this!!! Sorry to hear about the "cat" however, isn't it something how something so awful can make one's mind flow? Good work.
That first line does pull you in. I like how your words express the intimacy between life and death and how your use of rhyme helps in this expression. It's all rhythm. Good work!
To me a good poet helps us all to confront the fact we want to avoid: we are flesh, and all flesh is as the grass. I don't know if you've ever heard the English version of the Brahms Requiem, but that's one of my favorite sections. It takes courage to confront the dark and you've done it with a poem that sings..xxxxj
Unknown said…
a great rhyme this is! love it
Anonymous said…
a tender write
Laura said…
wow a lot of death imagery this week at the pub...quite vivid too! My daughter wants to be a forensic anthropologist or forensic pathologist...she will "enjoy" reading the de-compositions tonight!
Unknown said…
Wonderful rhyme and flow in this piece, I like when you go form! The image created of this dark crawl lingers. Well done and thanks for your kind words on my poetry, I appreciate you dearly and would love to see you try your hand at a Calypso ;) ~ Rose
Uneven Stephen said…
This is beautiful, Natasha! I love your wicked rhymes and deathly imagery - "maggots crawl through flowerpots", "crimson stain", "Dissolving now in death’s cocoon", "cutting scythe". I get a heavy Stephen King vibe from this piece. Awesome!
Ginny Brannan said…
Interesting to be reading this, after going out to my garden today and seeing the gift our neighborhood cat left on our back steps. A mini version of what you described. I was at once both fascinated and repulsed. Your words, a perfect description. Nicely written.
Scarlet said…
Nice rhyming post... and this refrain is great and underpins the message:

Who knew that death could smell so sweet
Anonymous said…
That is one great opening stanza.. :)
Fireblossom said…
Er...Edgar Allan Head, I presume? ;-)

I'm thinkin' you did the rhymes exceptionally well, Natasha, in addition to the spooky ack-ness of the death theme.
Daydreamertoo said…
You ever smell a skunk that's just been run over ... nothing sweet about that at all..LOL
Lovely verse, good depth and I agree with some of the other, 'who knew that death could smell so sweet' is a great line.
Unknown said…
Tash, nice write. Love the contrast and rhyme. The vivid imagery really sells the write for me. Excellent piece:)
colleen said…
Very lyrical, dark and earthy. I'm swung between sweet and sickening.
Beth W said…
Rhyme makes the theme a bit more like taunting, doesn't it? Like death teases us with its finality. Wonderfully written.

Beth
hedgewitch said…
The very sweetness and predictability of the rhyme makes the subject even more gruesome and the contrast all the more effective between the natural symmetry of life and unnatural intrusion of man who here destroys instead of creates. I do go on, but all this is just to say I really liked it, and you can rhyme it like this anytime. Also, thanks for your encouraging words at my place. You are an inspiring person and I value working with you, and learning from you.
Lanie said…
That was a beautiful read that literally caused me to say "Wow" when I finished reading it. I absolutely love your writing.
Elizabeth Young said…
Amazing piece, finely ground with wonderful comparisons. I sometimes wonder what the poet's near obsession is with death - it's something most of us have, and yet remains unsatisfied. I love the reference to the flowers...
Anonymous said…
I feel intensely the pain of the dead cat, on Sunday we had to face a dead bear. There's something about the violence intwined with that kind of death that makes it more upsetting. So glad you transformed the pain into art, the first stanza gave me the chills. We don't want to look, to be confronted by death, but we are and you capture that so well here.
Anonymous said…
i think i'll become a vegan for awhile ~ at least until i can get this line out of my head:

"Who knew that death could smell so sweet"

REALLY haunting! more vivid imagery than i would have expected possible in a poem. {smile} rhyming or not, your writing is amazing!
dani ♥
Anonymous said…
Skillful rhyming and great internal rhythm.

Poor cat! I have 12 and feed 9 more strays down the road, because the people there are ignorant and don't care.

Poor kittie! At least you, tashtoo, have a heart and a conscience. And are a lovely, lovey poet.

I would say enjoyed greatly, but the poor kittie.

Lady Nyo
Maude Lynn said…
"Who knew that death could smell so sweet"

What a great line! This is excellent.
Unknown said…
This is excellent. I could hear it being recited aloud as a story with dramatic effect in all the right places. Great imagery all the way around. Well done! - and, thanks again for your encouraging words my way ;)
Unknown said…
cool poem ....dark ....loved it thank you x
Elle said…
Despite the subject, it was sweet and dark and deeply moving. Thank you for sharing!
Arron Shilling said…
Hold it - hold it - i think you have just made me shiver Tash - and as you can imagine i dont creep easy! I loved this from the beginning - Who knew death could taste so sweet? this is a superb line - i read this line anywhere/anyplace and i am going to shiver coz its a great line... you really keep focus all thru - keeping your finger on the nerves of the reader... that line is coming out for a walk with me - brilliant and i connected with the total theme.

Thankyou for your comments on my blog - i always look forward to reading them. It makes all the effort worthwhile - thanks tash

Props

that line.... oh yeah
Mark Kerstetter said…
You should always do what you love, and you sound completely assured here. What are they serving in the drinks at the pub this week? Lots of liquid darkness, lots of lovely death.
Baishali said…
i loved the rhyming ... deeply moving.
annell4 said…
hummmm.... the talk of death always makes me hesitate.... it seemed you wrote almost analytically? You could be the poetic cop on the beat But nice rhyme and rhythm.
signed...bkm said…
Wow you and Claudia on the same page this week... in life and in death may we accept it all..nice rhyme...bkm
Jinksy said…
You've no idea how the rhyme and meter gladdened my heart, despite the dark subject matter! LOL ♥
I like rhyme and metre when they're working well. You are obviously at ease with them; why shouldn't you indulge your love?

As for dark subject matter, it seems to be the theme this week!
Chasing Tao said…
"Upon the dust of histories
Wrapped round life’s dark mysteries."

Yes, indeed, Natasha! A very deep piece. So much written and so much written between the lines.

For most Westerner's, death is a topic that lies beyond the fringe. I am so glad you brought it out for people to view and think about.

The ancients, in their wisdom, knew that this present physical life is merely one of many, that takes us along the pathless path from life to life.

Thank you for sharing. Perhaps it will wake a few up...or perhaps, get a few to think more deeply on what life, and death may be.

Roger ☺







The ancients all spoke of many lives, many experiences, and
lynne said…
Awesome poem, but this stanza really stood out for me,
"Back to the Earth she has been called
Though now on asphalt she lies sprawled
Upon the dust of histories
Wrapped round life’s dark mysteries."

dark, deep and well done Miss Tasha!!
Unknown said…
Interesting the first line.... Connecting something so tragic to... Sweet! I think your meter nd rhyme are a perfect combination.
It does sound tragic - the incident with the cat...
I didn't get a chance to read all the comments.... This time. I'll have to come back - I like visiting your blog anyway, everyday.

It's hard on the iPad to go up and down to revisit and copy your lines...
Accept my sincere appologies.

I think you are FAB!!!
Divya said…
So true.. i never though that death could smell so sweet..some nice imagery here.. Loved it :)
Thanks for dropping by my page..
Beachanny said…
Not sure you need more affirmations from me as you have had a full house but I liked this a great deal and concur with most of the comments I've read. Always a joy to drop by your place, Tash.
Anonymous said…
"Life's dark mysteries" indeed....I loved the rhyme and pacing here, the collage of death imagery that you keep filling in until this picture of death's mastery emerges, almost like a song. Great piece!
Gene
Becky Sain said…
Really liked this a lot -- would love to know the background, what guided you to these words?
Fascinating!!!
Unknown said…
really enjoyed this well done with a tricky subject, thanks for sharing xx

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