Mercy Kill

If I let go of this fear
I know I could force you to finish me.
The death of a memory
Don't make it any more than that.

If I could somehow
find it within myself to bring down the hurt
the way you've shown me to
we could stop dragging this out.

That you use my weakness against me
that you know how much I bleed inside
that you could rip and shred and still leave me breathing
as though my scars need to match your own.

I've done nothing but lick your wounds
love your dark
and accept your ways.

I've sacrificed dreams, spat on ambition
and stood by you through every random tantrum.
I gave you me
You took lifetimes

Now we meet at a tipping point.
I could have finished you long ago.
But the ounce of heart I have left won't let me do it.

I give up.
I surrender.

I kneel now before you.
Unarmed.
No malice.

Just the hope you'll make it quick.




SO...it's my turn to prep the pub for OpenLinkNight...think Brian and Claudia would mind if I sip from the poetry while I do? In desperate need of a drink ;)  We'll be linking up at 3pmEST...see you at dVersePoets!


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Comments

Brian Miller said…
woot. the humility it takes in the end there...knowing you could put them down but allowing them to once more take you...there is actually strength in that...if it comes to something...but then again how long do you hold on....

check stanza 2 for spelling...
aka_andrea said…
the seemingly weak truly holds the power and shows mercy.
Anonymous said…
Powerful, Natasha. Because the power is often in surrender, but you've kept it ambivalent enough so it's more real, more human. Love "random tantrum" Just move trippingly off the tongue.

Happy Open Mic night!
Very dramatic - I like that this could be a monologue. Compelling.
Laurie Kolp said…
Packed with emotion, Tash... especially the 3rd stanza. Powerful!
Claudia said…
kneeling before someone unarmed just shouts strength at me.. not many are able to do this...dang...tight and emotional write tash and woohooo...can't wait until you unlock these pub doors..
Laura said…
pow, pow, powerful read Tash... surrender is an incredible power all its own.
Anonymous said…
This line 'But the ounce of heart I have left won't let me do it.' so moving in a powerful poem. K
Jenny Herner said…
I love this. Sad and brave.
mrs mediocrity said…
turning this around at the end, that is the kindness, and the strength in forgiveness. sometimes surrender is a beautiful thing.

then again, sometimes you have to fight back :)
brudberg said…
That end really hurts. Understand what you mean about bleeding
Anonymous said…
I hate 'victim' poems, but this certainly isn't one of these. There is power in this, and strength, acknowledgement of what to be up against, and how to survive. Though,....I am rooting for the underdog in this poem.

A lot of power in this poem. It haunts and also perhaps most of us have been there in some part of our lives.

Lady Nyo
Anonymous said…
To say I love this is just simply, insufficient. It's an awesome write!
Mary said…
So much feeling here. So often the one who is thought to be weak is really the one who is control. It is so often a matter of perspective.
Anonymous said…
OK, the proto feminist in me didn't like the ending at first. So, as usual when I am bewildered, I read it again, out loud.

The pacifist in me understands that she could not have finished them/him.

Kneeling before the torturer shows both strength and surrender, and I can appreciate this, especially when one is outnumbered and overpowered. I would prefer to meet it standing and looking them in the eye, but that's just me.

What a fabulous write, Natasha. First read of the Open Mic and I'm all stirred up. You sure gave as good as your asked for!! With admiration, Amy
Nilanjana Bose said…
It takes real strength to kneel and surrender. Raw and powerful.

Tania A said…
Sounds like something I'd write, recently. Good words, Tash.
Goddamn .... I am shivering in the power of these words. I can see the kneeling, the surrender, the resignation.


Well written! (understatement of the century)
Holding on can be such a painful thing but letting go is even harder. Strong and dramatic stuff. Like it a lot
Unknown said…
This is a gut punch to the soul. Painful words and well said. It takes great courage to not end another and to sacrifice self, my faves are:

I've done nothing but lick your wounds
love your dark
and accept your ways.
jane hewey said…
I admire your full-on dive into the situation. One of my favorite lines "I could have finished you long ago" has the strength of patience and compassion. two very powerful forces. great write!
Wolfsrosebud said…
ah... sweet surrender despite the pain
Timoteo said…
This has me feeling like I'm at the Coliseum in Rome observing the gladiators, and now it's time to give a thumbs up or thumbs down on his fate at that point where you had him on the ropes and could have run him through...

Me: Thumbs down. (But looks like I was outvoted!)
Patricia said…
intense emotion, amazing courage, great heart. I believe you win in the end.
Pat Hatt said…
Sure a matter of how ones views
Those as they take lifes cruise
As the weak can surely be in control
And ruin the so called strongs lofty goal.
Truedessa said…
there are some quick punches here that make one feel..memories are hard to kill..they forever linger
Beth Winter said…
There comes a time when the battle isn't worth it anymore and surrender is the only option. Promise me you won't lose yourself in the surrender.
Anonymous said…
A signature Tashtoo write...brave, powerful,honest...a woman warrior of love...love it!
Other Mary said…
Sounds like time for a mercy kill here...
Anonymous said…
I really liked "I've done nothing but lick your wounds"

Where is the Food when mother is not?
Kathy Reed said…
A brave poem if you ask me; clearly shows tenacity and skills to survive anything..ah love ;)..it will take me all night to catch up on reading and leaving comments but I WILL finish eventually..
Anonymous said…
This is very emotional. At the end of the poem, I find myself with mouth agape and bated breath.
Kodjo Deynoo said…
Dark, sad, weak and yet honest
Unknown said…
An incredible acceptance in this surrender.
Anonymous said…
Am I the only one seeing this a bit schizophrenic; the kind of internal dialogue of self-destruction that too many deeply hurt and damaged people have to deal with every hour of every day - even when they are asleep?

Whatever the case, this is an honest, powerful, dark and disturbimg piece of writing - exactly what I've come to expect from your pen, Tash. Turned up to 12.
James Rainsford said…
Visceral in its savage intensity. I love the fire and ultimate humility in this. Tremendously powerful Natasha.
There's an alternative other than her killing him or her giving up and surrendering to him- she could act on the amazing understanding she's come to and that you've portrayed here so disturbingly well. She could leave, reclaim herself and leave.
Ah, now I understand your theme, as our host, of poetry bleeding! A wrenching piece, disturbing and powerful.
Unknown said…
Brilliant! A tight write, you hold to your theme and carry the reader through peaks and valleys to the ultimate yet humble climax. Finely crafted.
Anonymous said…
I'm saddened to read this, albeit a powerfully written piece.

I hope it does go quick for you. I hope that it ends up being a temporary stain upon your life, instead of a permanent scar. I hope you smile once more, my wordweaver.
Anonymous said…
I love how it starts out so fierce and just aggressive, like BAM , and then goes on to a sad and humble end.

Sometimes, after all we give, there's nothing left to offer, and though we don't want to, we have no option but give up.
Anonymous said…
Oooh, bitter and twisted: not sure if this is a reliable narrator - feels to me like the lady protests too much. A poem that makes me think and want to reread and then think some more.
Anonymous said…
"The death of a memory
Don't make it any more than that"
Sounds so easy yet is so very hard to live through. Nice write, Tashtoo.
Too many women have given all and knelt to take more for too long. This is beautifully written, but does not persuade me that the speaker in this poem should not hightail it out of there. Codependent behavior and abuse need to be opposed. Personal boundaries need to be set, and personal respect enforced. Why continue to enable this madness?
Unknown said…
very powerful. I love it.
Anonymous said…
Hi Tashtoo,
An incredible poem that speaks of how life can entrap us in situations that are unhealthy.How to make changes, escape as it were is not as easy as it seems.So this is how relationships can manipulate us.Your writing is very personal, very touching and the quality is exceptional..LT.
Anonymous said…
Hi Tashtoo,
An incredible poem that speaks of how life can entrap us in situations that are unhealthy.How to make changes, escape as it were is not as easy as it seems.So this is how relationships can manipulate us.Your writing is very personal, very touching and the quality is exceptional..LT.
Anonymous said…
That combination of power, surrender and weakness is compelling..so entwined in strong love...a Gordian knot..Great write!

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