I Dream Too ~ #poetry by @Tashtoo

Thinking in poetic terms, I liken this time in my life to the butterfly...busting out of that cocoon
but rainbows and butterflies I am not
and to write about these times, in such a fashion
would only serve to perpetuate the myth
that this life I'm living is not my own.

I have fought very hard to make dreams come true
for everybody else.
Shouldering resentment, the burden grew heavy
I have whined and bitched, moaned and cried
but never admitted, that I was never actually asked to chase these dreams.

I chased them, out of my own sick and twisted need
to see a smile on somebody else's face, because my own fake grin
shouted impostor at me so loud from the bathroom mirror every morning
I thought the only way to shut it up was to sacrifice my own dreams
in service to others.

Somewhere, out of all this struggle that I have created for myself
I think...god willing...I have, in actuality, moved a little closer to courage,
to the understanding that it's okay to work for me
for my dreams.
Now...that I have my own permission
or rather, a notion of it being okay
I just have to figure out what those dreams are.